Once, during a team-building training at work—because who doesn’t love team building?—we were asked a simple but powerful question: “What would you go back and tell your 18-year-old self?”
Without missing a beat, I said I’d tell myself to stay out of the tanning bed because premature wrinkles are real and Botox is expensive. It got a big laugh, which was kind of the goal, but it was also very, very true.
Lately, I’ve found myself thinking about that exercise again. And honestly, I’d still tell that 18-year-old the same thing.
Now, in my 30s, there are so many more things I would want to tell that sweet, innocent, freshly graduated high school version of myself.
First of all, if you end up with the boy you’re absolutely certain you’re going to marry and have babies with… you’ll be 32 and living with his mom—because that’s exactly where he still lives.
I would tell myself that not everyone lives as long as you think they will, so hug every family member as often as you can. The friends you have now will slowly start their own lives, and many of you will drift apart. It will hurt at times, but it’s okay—that’s life.
Stop overthinking your future. What’s meant to happen will happen, and what’s not meant for you won’t. Don’t let the world harden you. You’ll gain weight, lose weight, gain it again, and lose it again. The scale and your jean size do not define you. There will always be someone prettier, skinnier, richer, taller, or smarter—but there is only one you, and you are incredible.
Do not—and I repeat—do not rush college. I know the real world seems exciting, and you can’t wait to get out there, but here’s the truth: the real world kind of sucks. Enjoy college while you can. Mortgages, utilities, student loans, insurance, credit cards, and car payments show up every single month. Put them on auto-draft so you don’t forget and come home to your water being turned off… whoops. And don’t bother arguing with the water department—it never works, and you can’t switch providers anyway.
Don’t be naïve. There are bad people in this world who do bad things, and you need to stay away from them. Leave after the first lie. Do not wait around for the second—or the hundredth. Walk away. And remember, people who hurt you are usually hurting themselves.
Not everyone at work will like you, and some won’t even have a reason. Don’t stress about it—that’s just how some people are. You won’t be rich right after college, sorry kid, but hang in there. You’re smarter than you think. And if you have to work two or even three jobs, it doesn’t make you less intelligent or less worthy.
One day you’ll wake up and realize you’re 30. Appreciate it—it’s a gift many people never get. Your heart will get broken, and it will hurt badly, but you’ll survive it, learn from it, and move forward. Always be a good person and do the right thing, even when it’s not the popular choice.
Mental health is real. Talk about it. Get help. Seek counseling. You are not weak because you struggle—you are brave for facing it.
Every relationship has issues, not just yours. You are not alone. And please don’t compare your life to social media. Social media only shows perfectly edited moments and filtered smiles—it’s not real life.
One day, 9:00 p.m. will feel late. Go to bed. Rest matters.
Alcohol is not an antidepressant. It won’t fix your problems or heal your pain.
If you’re not married with kids by 30—or if you’re divorced or separated—who cares? You are still amazing.
Most importantly, know your worth. You are worth so much more than you realize. If someone wants to walk out of your life, let them. That’s their loss, not yours. You are not defined by the crappy things people do to you. Those actions reflect their character, not yours. You are enough. You have always been enough. And you always will be.
Oh—and wear your sunscreen, kid. You’ll thank me later.
